As I sit here watching football, while Dad sleeps in the chair next to me, I think about the conversation I've just had. It's not unique. It's not special. It's not anything that hasn't happened a hundred times in the past year. But it keeps me going. I can laugh. I can cry. I can be dumbfounded. I can think in ways I don't usually do. But what's most important is that it keeps me going in a time of a lot of nothing. I'm not going to school, I'm searching for jobs, and yet, somehow I still have a smile on my face, and this girl knows how to do it.

My coaching debut

As Mom enjoys her time in Chicago, I took over as the novice coach. Now the the novice team from last year probably started laughing when they heard this news. And I can't say that I blame them. I mean, when the coach (my mom) says, "Do a back somersault" and you do a forward one, who can blame them. Needless to say that was the very first move they saw out of me. But hard work, sore arms, faking laps during the summer and working on skulling in the teeny GCC pool, I like to think that I've mastered the basics. Mastered is definitely a relative term. I'm okay with that though.

What started as "Katie and Molly will want to see you," has turned into me swimming Monday and Friday nights. On Monday nights, I have my own class with Paige and Jane's mom (If I knew how to spell her last name, I would, but I would completely butcher it, so I'm just calling her Jane's mom). Before that though, I help mom with the four novices. And because the intermediate team is so big this year, 3 coaches are definitely needed. So as mom went off to Chicago, I went off the pool. Friday I was really nervous. We survived the class and we practiced. Tonight I only had three of the girls, but we had a lot of fun. We worked on timing, underwater swims, front pike takedowns, dolphins, back somersaults and shrimps. Let's also say that we have a couple space cadettes in our class. Not that they don't love the sport or have fun, but when the music is going they like to watch the intermediate classes. And I can't really blame them because I like to watch them too. One of the space cadettes was working with mom last week on her shrimp, and couldn't get it at all. Enough so that mom had to get in the water with her. I know that the majority of you reading this have no idea what a shrimp is. Here is my attempt at a description: You start flat on your stomach with your legs out straight, face down in the water. You bring your torso down so that it is at a 90 degree angle with your legs, which are still at the surface of the water. From there you take one of your legs and flip it over your body so that you are upside down in the water doing a split. You hold that for a couple seconds, then bring your legs together so that you are vertical and your feet are pointed and your feet are sticking out of the water. It is really important to be straight so that you sink straight, and then you pull your legs in, do a half turn and come back out of the water. Yea, it's hard. So this little girl couldn't get it at all. When we practiced straight legs, she couldn't get it then. Reluctantly I told her to try the shrimp. I am very glad I did. Her legs were straight. Her split was beautiful. She held her feet above the water. When she came out of the water she had the biggest smile on her face, while my chin was on my knees, and she knew she had succeeded. She wanted to do nothing else for the rest of the class. At the end of class I made her go get her mother who was watching her younger sister in the little pool. I explained to her that this was the move my mom was working on with her last Monday. She gave me a high five and said "That was like....GOOD!" and it was. Tonight was a definite self-esteem booster and I loved every minute of it.

"Merle's Door"

"The differences between cats and dogs have probably been noted since cats began to live with people in Jericho and Cyprus about seven thousand years ago: how cats are solitary and dogs social, and how cats share our homes but never lose their wildness whereas dogs become almost totally domesticated."

I think we all know how I feel about cats vs. dogs and that dogs will always win in my book. However, we also know that cats absolutely love me. They think I am their couch/chair/personal play mate. But we also know that there is one cat looking down who captured my heart. Granted, Harold was more dog than cat, but we had a mutual respect for each other. He didn't like people, I don't like cats, and the two of us got along wonderfully. This quote from Merle's Door reminded me of my general feelings about the difference in the animals, along with the difference in Harold.

"I bought food in the grocery store, seeing too many people I knew, some of whom had heard about Merle and asked how he was. I had to keep my jaw clenched, telling them about his condition, so as not to break down. Not that I'm averse to shedding tears in public - I've done my share at funerals - but who wants to be a wreck in the produce aisle."

For those of you who know me as Broccoli, I think why I like this quote is pretty self-explanatory. And even if you don't know me as Broccoli, you know that I am a sensitive person. I am inspired though, because I don't know that I would be able to stop myself from being a wreck in a store aisle as Ted Kerasote has done.

Broken Back Briley

Today was an interesting day...

I got up early for the purpose of bringing my grandparents fall decorations and things for their assisted living apartment. It takes me a while, with so much time on my hands, to wake up & get motivated for the day. I decided to start by doing laundry because as my mother always says, other things can be done during laundry. Buddy was home during the middle of the day while the Corriveau's went on a few errands. In the excitement of being back home, he dropped his "BITE ME" toy on one of the kitchen stairs. Our staircase is not like most. It is directly in the middle of the house, with a landing 4 steps above the bottom, at the back of a closet wall. From there it goes on either side of the staircase, one side into the kitchen and one side into the front hall. As I came down the 4 stairs down towards the kitchen, I stepped on Buddy's precious today and fell flat on my ass/back and down the rest of the stairs. As I'm laying there, with my back throbbing in pain, the image which comes to mind is my father kicking his legs and screaming during March 2008 when he broke 6 ribs. As this goes through my mind, Buddy wants to know what the commotion is because not only did his toy squeak, but I made quite the landing. I was covered in dirty laundry, my back throbbing wondering if it was safe to get up. As I was wondering if this is safe (I remembered the advice of the paramedics telling us to tell Dad not to move because it could make what happened worse), I realize that my cell phone is still upstairs and there are no reachable phones anywhere. Realizing this, I decide I must get up. But first, I must move the dog. Which needless to say is difficult when you're feeling 110%. I managed to get up and call mom. Take tylenol. Get ice on my back. Then my butt. And the process has been repeated over and over throughout the day. Nearly six hours later when Mom got home from work, the laundry was still sitting in the middle of the kitchen. I basically sat on my ass the rest of the day. However, this was not a lazy, comfortable, enjoyable day of sitting on my ass. This was proper posture, stiff back sitting. Not enjoyable. I therefore spent most of the day searching for jobs (more so than I usually do) and talking to Mom online.

It was at this time when I felt like I was in sixth grade again. For those of you who don't know: when I was in sixth grade, I fell off the monkey bars in gym class. I was definitely a "90's kid" and totally embraced the fashion. I wore this black velvet vest with different colored embroidered (what I like to call) "business" (for lack of a better word) on it. This amazing vest also had a bow/knot on the back. This extra pressure point took the wind out of me. Not right away, but immediately after I pretended I was okay. At which point I landed on my back for the second time in minutes as I passed out. Causing me to get rushed to the hospital on a stretcher. I had a sore back, and it was a Friday. The next week though, I was endearingly called "BBB" or "Broken Back Briley" by my friends. As I sat here in pain today, that is how I felt. It was a feeling I didn't want to feel for a second time in my life.

"Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot."

Yesterday I went to the farm stand down the road with mom and we ran into my third grade teacher. She was one of my favorites and we even used to see her in Florida during my April vacations. She still teaches there, and we were talking about my job search. We started talking about Oregon, and as soon as I said "camp for children with diabetes" she started laughing and said "of course." (It was in her class where I passed out for the first time. I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden my head was on my desk.) Mom continued the conversation with, "Her father and I are surprised that she came home. We thought she was going to find a way to stay out there." I know that Mom has always said that, but dad has been vocal about even Boston being too far away. The way mom said it though came across as a blessing more than anything else. So in my daily job search this morning, I found two great jobs in the greater Portland area that look good (if I can't become a nanny.) In this economy, its hard to get excited about any application, but knowing mom & dad would be okay with me being so far away definitely makes me feel better about it. Of course, there were jobs in this area too. But I would love a job out there.

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places."